:: twenty minutes more ::
[ image: sometimes, a photo by erin tyner. if you haven't seen erin's work, you're missing out. i so totally love her photographs. for more ET goodness, see her flickr photostream. ]
so here i am. sunday afternoon in a house all to myself with nothing but time to work and work to do.
but i'm blogging.
because i'm feeling so discouraged and overwhelmed.
and i'm hoping that maybe blogging will help me feel better so i can just get the heck on with things.
life is crazy right now. if you follow me on facebook or twitter you've probably caught snippets of the insanity. brian's working in a new court (a step up the ADA ladder) and he's on intake right now, which means that all non-felonies in the city go through him. translation: 13-15 hour days. alternate translation: work-at-home-mommy HELL.
plus there was the accident, and evan's almost three and um, yeah, three is so much worse than two.
i don't have the time to accomplish even 3% of the things i need/want to accomplish and i just feel so frustrated. i'm turning away clients i'd really love to take on, i'm struggling to find the time to print and photograph and list my whole big set of new wedding designs (i have found the time to design them over the last five months). i don't have a nanny yet, which means i haven't been able to hire an intern. i had such high hopes for this spring and here i am watching spring turn to summer and i just wonder how to keep it all up.
i have even considered closing up shop for the summer or something, which brian vetoed sternly, but it's so frustrating not being able to do things the way i want to.
like this wedding thing. for five months i've been planning the new line, designing the invitations, planning how to make the launch a big splash that will attract attention. i've been wanting to make this video and to make the blog rounds with some giveaways. i have a very specific list of tasks that need to be accomplished and i just. can't. get them. done.
i'm losing momentum.
i really don't like losing momentum.
my brain feels about like my attic studio looks, which is like a tornado swept through town and blew open my windows/ears and scattered my belongings/thoughts. in order to print i have to stretch a USB cable across the room to my computer so that i either have to fosbury-flop over it or pee-wee-herman under it to move about the attic. i want to take the time to get it organized but that really honestly would require closing the shop for a few weeks.
bitch bitch bitch.
moan moan moan.
so yeah. that's where i am. and now that i just spent twenty minutes writing this supposedly cathartic and clarifying blog post, all i feel is twenty minutes more crunched for time.