Thursday, July 22, 2010

:: two urges diverged in a wood, and i -- ::


now, i don't mean to give the impression that i don't have a lot of stuff. i do. i have more stuff than i need, more than i want, and more than i have room or time for.

what i don't have is any emotional attachment to most stuff. i'm not a person who needs to save something just for the sake of having loved it once. or it having been given to me by someone i haven't seen in ten years. i prefer to save (i.e. store in the basement) things for just three reasons:

1 - i honestly think i will use it again in the somewhat near future
2 - it is an expensive or cumbersome object that i think there's a chance (even a small one) i will use again someday, and replacing it will cost far more than the effort/stress/space it costs me to save it (i.e. spendy camping equipment, baby clothes, etc.)
3 - i consider it a small way to provide my kids with some insight into who their mother is. (emphatic emphasis on the word small - i flat out refuse to just save stuff because one day my kids may go through it. i try to keep all my "whoa, look what mom used to do/have/be" items to two large rubbermaid containers, no more.)

i'm having a little trouble deciding about two things, though: my box filled with newspaper clippings (from 7 years spent writing for and editing newspapers and magazines), and my dissertation boxes.

neither meets the above criteria. i will not use these items in the future. they are not small. if i lost them in a fire i wouldn't even be particularly sad. which means i should let them go. but i'm feeling very attached to them. both are very physical reminders of parts of my identity -- and in fact significant chunks of my life -- that i consider sort of gone now. they're parts of me that i'm not anymore. parts of me that i gave very serious consideration to, that i spent long periods of time thinking would possibly become the things that defined me, in a way.

at the same time, though, even as i'm feeling attached, i'm also feeling a very strong urge to just get them out of my house. stop filling up space we don't have with things i will probably never even look at.

i can't decide how best to honor the first urge while fulfilling the second. what do you think?

posted by Unknown at 3:09 PM
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Sarah S.'s avatar - Go to profile

Sarah S. · 764 weeks ago

What if you scanned in your best/favorite pieces? Or if that's too much work (which it would be for me!), keep 1-2 of your best/favorite from each year or some other significant time frame. Either way, pitch the rest!
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upupcreative 38p · 764 weeks ago

ooh! i have a trick for making "scanning" a heckuva lot faster. instead of using the scanner, just take photos. you can tag them on upload, too. so much easier and faster. i do that with magazine clippings, too.
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ali · 764 weeks ago

Hurl 'em! I did it and have never given them another thought - I have the finished dissertation - all neatly bound. I remember the blood sweat and tears that went into it, so I could let the weighty boxes of work in progress go.
1 reply · active 764 weeks ago
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upupcreative 38p · 764 weeks ago

ah, yes, but my dissertation is unfinished. it's an eternal work in progress. or rather, a work no longer in progress.

but you're probably still right. : )
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sarah · 764 weeks ago

As long as you're not developing hoarding tendencies, I would keep them. You never know when you might need to look back on your old self or revisit your past to make the most of your future. Unless they are seriously in the way and really cramping your style, I'm sure leaving them be won't hurt very much - and in the end, you won't have to have any sort of regret that you might have if you do get rid of something that is irreplaceable.
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Cindy · 764 weeks ago

I was thinking of the scanning idea too. If you had a disc they wouldn't take up much room. Or put a few of your favorites in a scrap book. Then toss away.
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Katie Stephenson · 764 weeks ago

Personally, I wouldn't spend time scanning them. When I have a 10 page document to scan it seems to take a half an hour so no, I don't think that's a good use of your time. I would hold onto them until you have a stronger urge to purge. I held onto my college notes for a long time, simply because it was such hard work and so much time spent on them, it felt awful to just throw it all out. I ended up accidentally leaving them at an old rental apartment basement and ..they're gone and I've never been sad about it. When you're ready, it'll feel okay.
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trisha · 764 weeks ago

i'm a very aggressive purger myself, but i say keep them. if you want anything enough to scan it, you may as well hold onto it for a bit longer. space clearly isn't the issue. in a year or two you'll be like why the hell is this crap still here? and then you'll know it's time!

my masters in architecture made me miserable too, but i'm not ready to get rid of everything yet. It's partially because it was a significant chunk of my life, but mostly because there are a few things i am truly proud of and want to save, but they're mixed in with the rest of the crap ... and i'm so very not ready to deal with all of the unhealthy, still-too-raw emotions of frustration, anger, and disappointment over certain asshole professors and failed "teamwork" that inevitably go along with that sort/purge. maybe next year though!

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