Thursday, August 13, 2009

:: overwhelmed ::

today i'm seeking some advice.

i read a quote on twitter recently by erica jong about advice. she said, "advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

usually i think this is pretty right on. often i think we do ask for advice to confirm what we're not ready to admit yet.

but today i seek answers i don't have.

you see, i'm struggling a bit this week. evan got a stomach bug, which is super traumatic for me for some reason and has been ever since i was a kid. and brian was out of town for it, which made it harder, although we're still at my mom's and she was amazing. and tuesday night i didn't get any sleep. literally.

but then yesterday we found out that we'll be closing on the maybe house on monday morning at 9:30 in the morning. so we'll be moving next week. out of my mom's house (we've been here almost exactly 8 months) and into our own about 18.2 miles away.

and man oh man am i having trouble processing all of this. i'm tired and emotional and basically a big old mess.

can you help me? how do you deal with the perfect storm of emotional trauma? how do you keep it together when your life suddenly seems scary and overwhelming?

(the above image is from the each penny pretty creative commons flickr group. i thought it was appropriate for how i'm feeling... it's like all of my antennas are receiving at full strength right now.)


virtuallori August 13, 2009 at 9:44 AM  

Yikes! That's a lot of stress all at once. I think it would be a bad thing if you didn't feel all emotional and overwhelmed by it, at least for a little while.

Let yourself be emotional and overwhelmed -- for a one hour. Set a timer. Get the worst of it out of your system. It won't go away completely, but if you let the overflow flow over and get out of the way, it's more manageable.

Now, take a deep breath. In fact, take three. Find a pen and paper, and sit in a comfy spot. Make a list of all those things that are stressing you out. Now, take a look at those items one by one. What things have to be done, or could be done, to move it along, to get through it? Write them down. Is there anything that can be postponed? (There's no law that says you have to move into your house the minute you close on it, by the way...) Is there anything that friends or family could help you with? What are the things that you have no control over?

Toss out those you have no control over (son's illness). Break the rest down into small, manageable chunks ("pack to move" is not a manageable chunk; "pack up dresser contents" is). Prioritize them. Work on one thing at a time. When something is done, cross it off with a big black marker. Remember to breathe.

julie green August 13, 2009 at 10:20 AM  

thanks, lori. that's helpful and reassuring. i needed that.

cindy August 13, 2009 at 11:57 AM  

think ahead and revel in the knowledge that two months from now, all this will be over and you'll have survived because you're just strong, organized, capable like that! :)

but i like what lori said (and it's been tried and true in my own life), you simply must look beyond what you cannot control, then break up everything else into more manageable parts. then complain and talk to girlfriends all the while!

Pretty Neat Designs August 13, 2009 at 3:59 PM  

I think virtuallori gave really good advice. When I am feeling like this I find it helps to try to stay present right where I am right now instead of getting too anxious about stuff that hasn't happened yet. And cupcakes don't hurt.

Isk8Jewel (~Julie~) August 13, 2009 at 6:08 PM  

I agree: It's ok to give your self time to deal with your emotions. I also like to make lists; it helps me feel like I'm on track when I see things begin to get crossed off my list little by little. I also find it important to take a little time to de-stress... dessert with a friend maybe? Good luck with everything. Remember: eventually the stress will end and it won't last forever.

julie green August 14, 2009 at 11:50 AM  

hmm. cupcakes. an interesting approach. i think i might have to try that.

today my OB recommended ice cream. she said it does wonders. plus it has calcium. she's got this obsession with calcium.