:: experiments in radness and contrariety ::

i've worked up post after post trying to get at what's going on with me lately, and by me i mean me-business-me, not plain-old-regular-me.

up up creative things just aren't going well this summer. something hasn't been feeling right. things aren't clicking into place. sales are (way) down. i've been doing quite well lately me-personally, spontaneously dancing like i used to in the days before the post-partum depression left me not-quite-me.  but business-me has been all soul-searchy and angst-y and overall just kind of yucky.

there's a lot to it but mostly i think it's that i don't feel good about the changes i made to my business in the name of attending the national stationery show in may. i had to restructure a lot of things, change my pricing, adopt a different perspective. but more than that i think i had to do a lot of mold-fitting as in "fitting into the stationery industry mold" and i was faced with a lot of not-quite-fitting-the mold and it has left me a bit woozy.

which is weird because i usually totally love not-quite-fitting-the-mold.

i'm the girl who when told the sky is blue likes to say, "well, but let's think about it. in a way isn't the sky really just no color but then when light rays bounce off of" yadda yadda yadda. i'm the girl who likes to complicate things. who likes to do things differently.

i'm the girl who didn't want to plan her wedding until she realized it could be whatever she (and her fiance) wanted it to be.

i'm the girl who works at home AND stays home with the kids AND has the kids in daycare. i'm the have-it-all-and-have-it-my-way girl.

i like being that way. i like being a bit contrary. a bit different, but so relatably so.

going to nss made me start to focus so much on what my peers were up to. to focus on "how things are done" and whatnot. and it has left me with a bad taste in my mouth. and all summer without entirely realizing it, i've been unsure what to do about it.

until finally i decided. the best way to get the bad taste out of my mouth is to do something awesome. to do something totally me. totally simple in a way that aims at complicating things. to do something completely unlike anything i've ever seen. to take off my business-owner hat and put on my taking-on-the-world hat.

i'm not totally ready yet to reveal what i'm going to do, even though my experiment will be debuting at the very-near end of this month. but i'm ready to tell you that it's going to be scary and hopefully really really awesome. and maybequitepossibly a total flop. and also i'd love it if you think you might like to help spread the word and otherwise make this experiment completely rad.

are you in? if so, leave me a comment and i'll be in touch via email.