:: in which i go on and on about my awesomeness ::

across the table from me, a tiny red headed child is shouting into her empty fruit bowl, so excuse me if this blog post is any of the following:

• confusing
• disjointed
• juvenile
• sticky (from the fruit)

once snack time is over we're headed into the playroom to "play" (by which i mean emily is going to play and i am going to surreptitiously remove toys from the toy bins (some toys destined for storage to be brought out again later to much delight, some toys destined for donation to be used for the delighting of stranger-kids) because it is getting insane in there and brother's at school and emily is a far less vigilant mom watcher than her big brother.

i'm just popping in to say hi and thanks for all your comments on the last post. i found the responses (both private and in the form of comments on the post) to be surprising. some folks thought i was being tough on myself and i so totally didn't see it that way or intend it to be that way. i guess i just wanted to explain my silence around here and also, probably more than that, attempt in some convoluted way to break the silence.

if i haven't said it, i'll say it now: i think i'm doing a pretty awesome job building this business. i'm proud of myself and proud of the business and i think i'm doing okay at handling the continual dual-tug of family and work. i mean, i could certainly use a break, but who couldn't?

but despite how awesome i think i'm doing with all of this, or i guess probably because of how awesome i feel things are going, i'm frustrated. frustrated that my family financial situation is so sucky. frustrated that i have goals i want to achieve that i feel like i need to hold off on to focus more on the daily-grind of things. frustrated that i am still in my attic.

the frustration is what fuels the awesomeness. it sucks, but it's true. i build this thing day by day, bit by bit, because i'm frustrated.

so that's that. and yeah, i think i'm back now. i think i've broken the blogging silence.

off to sneak toys away from my children now. over and out.