:: bedtime anxiety with a side of calm ::

(the above picture is from our little trip to the adirondacks last week to visit friends. it isn't really related to this post except insofar as it's a picture of nighttime. and calm.)

last night was weird. it has the makings of all your worst dreams: it's 10 p.m. on a sunday night and you suddenly realize that you have forgotten about several important things you need to have done.

the difference is this: i realized that running your own business makes it so that you answer to yourself and no one else. i also realized that that fact opens up a whole new relationship to prioritizing. my priorities can really honestly be my priorities and not my understanding of someone else's priorities or my fear of their reaction to my not meeting their deadlines.

so i got done the things i felt were most important and i let the rest go until today. after the initial rush of anxiety (oh my god! i forgot to do l, m, and n (why is it always x, y, and z??)!) i actually ended up going to bed (albeit still a little bit late) with a prevailing sense of calm.

it's good to be your own boss. if only it paid well, too.