Wednesday, June 13, 2007

:: Fireworks Fantasy ::

Because of the doc’s comments last week and my (perhaps unwise) sharing of said comments with my friends and family, every phone message I get now includes some variation of “So, you’re not answering your phone. Are you in labor?” Here I am at just 37 weeks today and I’m already feeling like I’m a week late with all these questions about whether I’m feeling any different, whether anything’s changed, whether I’ve started having contractions. I know everyone’s eager, and I am perhaps most eager of all (actually, I think Brian surpasses me in eagerness), but I’ve still got weeks until the kid’s even DUE. He’s not late yet. He’s not even on time yet.

I am, of course, as much to blame as anyone. I, too, have been having fantasies since last Thursday’s appointment of going into labor. I’ve been imagining calling Brian at work this week or having the baby on my sister-in-law’s birthday (tomorrow, June 14th). I’ve been wanting to go to the movies during the week just in case we won’t be able to go on the weekend. All this despite the fact that I’m still relatively comfortable and happy being pregnant. I’m not yet to that point that so many women get to where they’re like Get this baby out of me now. I’m not very achy or anything, am still sleeping great (perhaps better than I used to before I was pregnant – I’ve never been a good sleeper). But the possibility of baby actually getting here (and OK, I would like to lie on my stomach again) has me all excited and I just want to meet him and see what he looks like right now!

So in order to keep the anticipation down, and to remind myself that I am not due yet, and to keep myself from feeling like it’s TIME already, I’m trying to take more direct control of my fantasies. Now, I purposefully begin my labor daydreams on July 3rd or 4th. I imagine baby being born early on the 4th, his real due date, and being in our Mother/Infant room hours later when fireworks start going off near the hospital. I imagine Brian and I watching the early stages of the Tour de France while I’m in that first stage of labor, when I’m supposed to stay home and time contractions and wait until they’re close enough to get in the car and drive to the hospital.

The other fantasies creep in, of course. So I’m working on a couple of other coping strategies. I’m trying to come up with projects that will take three weeks to complete. Like revising ten poems or finishing my screenplay. Or reading ten novels. I haven’t actually chosen a project yet (I’ve got work to do around the house, errands to run, TV to watch) but I will. Probably just in time for July 4th.