Sunday, June 7, 2009

:: :: yay! :: ::

{from torinodave72's Flickr photostream}

so is it controversial because you think i should have gotten off it the moment i found out i was pregnant, or because you think i should have gotten off before we even started trying to have a kid? or is it controversial because you think i should have stayed on?

whichever reason it may be controversial, i am off my zoloft. today was my first day without it, although i've been stepping down gradually and have been doing just fine. i have moments of anxiety or dread, but i know what they are now and i see them coming from so far away. i am learning to manage them. i am learning to name them so that they can disappear.

i was on the drugs for eleven months to the day, which is a total coincidence. it was longer than i initially expected, but for me it was the exact right amount of time. and to anyone out there in the middle of a complete breakdown like i was eleven months ago, let me reassure you: i'm glad i went on the drugs even though at the time i was both terrified of them and convinced that i didn't need to be medicated.

if i need them again i won't wait as long before i talk to my docs. i hope to stay off for the rest of my pregnancy, but as my OB advised, anxiety and depression have shown to have strong effects on the fetus, risks which may outweigh the possible risks of being on zoloft while pregnant. so we'll see. i just want to stay healthy. i just want to feel like myself.

right now i'm hopeful that i'll accomplish that without the zoloft.



kribss June 8, 2009 at 10:37 AM  

you need to do what you +your doctor think is best. no matter what anyone else thinks.

cindy June 8, 2009 at 10:48 AM  


Unknown June 8, 2009 at 6:07 PM  

thanks for the nice comments, you guys. i was excited to share my news but a little bit nervous about the response.

Wanda June 10, 2009 at 10:39 AM  

That was so nice to hear someone else come off their Zoloft...they kept me on it for almost four years. I've been off for about a month or so now. Don't'll have those moments and it will feel as if they come a can work through least that is what I tell myself. :)