:: :: luckiest baby :: ::

maybe i'm biased about the baby. or the hat. but i think that this little baby in here, this little belly friend of mine, is going to be the luckiest baby, and not just because he or she will get to wear this freaking adorable hat.

i got the pattern from one of debbie bliss's books. i already returned it to the library but i'm pretty sure it was this one.

the hat was knit flat and then seamed, which i have mixed feelings about. i hate knitting on double-pointed needles, so it was nice that i didn't have to do that, but the seam is annoying me (especially because i had to reverse the seam for the rolled-up part and that was both annoying and not super slick, as you can see if you look at the somewhat gnarled part there on the roll).

:: :: all over :: ::

ladies and gentlemen i give you:

my first repeating pattern design.

i haven't had the chance to color it yet, which i plan to do, and i don't totally love the larger parts of the print. i think i'll go back and edit those. but still. i'm pretty psyched to have learned how to create a seamless pattern repeat.

and i'm wondering: if i post a tutorial, would you want to learn how to do this? and would you be willing to share your work with everyone? i mean, you could send it to me and i could post it and so it could totally be anonymous. but i'd love to get some creative flow going.

alternately, i'm thinking of a group word game. maybe a monthly thing where someone chooses one word of inspiration and the group has to come up with SOME kind of project (art, food, photography, craft, poem, etc.) that was inspired by the word.

thoughts? interest?

:: Aaand, Now I'm a Joiner ::

i can't decide if i always thought i would join a mom's group or if i never thought i would in a million years. i mean, i'm not really a joiner except at the same time i'm not great at meeting people unless i join some sort of formal group.

joining a mom's group seems so suburban of me. so sorority girl grown up. (which yeah, okay, i was a sorority girl (i had trouble meeting people in college, too) and i suppose i am grown up now.) it seems sort of sad in a sort of "gee i can't make any friends by myself without joining a club" even as i realize that this is how most people make friends by themselves. work. teams. groups. clubs.

all of which is to say that i joined a mommy group today.

evan and i were at the playground this morning and a swarm of similarly-aged boys (with moms in tow) were there at the same time. i discovered that there's a mom's group consisting of moms with kids all born around the same time as ev.

when we got home he told me he had "paid" with the "boy-ees" and i decided that he probably needs this as much as i do. wish us luck and friends.

:: :: tonight's top news stories :: ::

{ photo credit: alphabet soup II by cdw9 }

the weekend's top stories:

(1) evan started sleeping in a big bed. his room looks like a freaking bedroom now for godssake. he loves it and stays in it (so far) for the whole night and all of naptime. no climbing out. no funny business. i think he hasn't really processed the fact that he is freefreefree!

(2) the baby is officially a fetus now (this is according to one of those books. you know, the pregnancy books. the ones you buy for your first pregnancy and then tell yourself you don't need for the second but still find yourself poring over).

(3) (related news) i am officially tired of being pregnant. i can't wait for the part where i am all happy and pregnant. the part where i'm like, "i actually kind of like this" and where the baby kicks me but doesn't yet lodge his or her foot in between two ribs.

(4) i graduated into the scary bra size. i don't know if you're like me but i have a size. a size that i never ever thought i'd be. and it's not like it's any big deal or anything, but dear god almighty i am already that size and i'm only ten weeks pregnant. i had to go bra shopping today (best advice i will ever give you: go to victoria's secret, head straight for the fitting room, ask for a fitting and then a bra box. they bring you every single bra in your size and you don't have to wander around being perpetually invited to apply for a credit card, put your bras in a bag, or learn about some new high-tech bra system or another.) and when she measured me i wanted to be like, "oh, no thanks. i'll just go with my usual size" as if she were offering me an upgrade instead of a proper fit.

(5) (related) my boobs now fit fully into my bra cups. it does not look like i have four boobs anymore. this makes the scary size sort of okay.

anyway, that was the big news around here. what big news do you have to share?

:: :: ever-mover :: ::

i can't resist these in-motion shots of evan. they capture his very essence so well. this is a kid who is always in motion, even when he's sitting still. he is an explorer. a do-er. he quickly outgrew the mouth exploration stage (i.e. the putting everything in your mouth stage) and plunged headlong and seemingly permanently into the body exploration stage. he loves to jump and roll and wriggle. he loves to wrestle and snuggle and run. he loves to climb.

when the baby comes i know he'll be the kind of big brother who wants to hold the baby and swing the baby and teach the baby how to do things. he's very hands-on.

i kind of can't wait to see that. i can't wait to see him try to pick the baby up and carry him/her around. i can't wait to see him trying to get the baby to roll over or sit up. and man oh man it'll be cool when he shows the baby how to play basketball and soccer and to throw rocks into the pond.

:: :: fun with color :: ::

ok. i have a fun little game for us today. it's called fun with color. basically, here are 9 color palettes i'm considering using for my next stationery collection(s). i have included them here.



your job is to help me name them, yeah? (while you're at it, i'd love to know your favorite color group, too!)

:: :: each penny pretty is seeking contributors :: ::

I woke up this morning and my uterus had seemingly swelled to twice its size. My abdomen is definitely looking less pudgy and more pregnant. It's insane.

(If you missed the announcement, you'll find it here.)

And even though I have thirty weeks left until the baby is due (jeez I'm only ten weeks pregnant, belly... stop growing already), I woke up determined to invite some regular contributors to join me in writing my little design blog. I'll still write my usual posts, but I'm looking for one or two contributors to write a weekly column (complete with images).

To apply for a position, please send me a proposal explaining the focus of your column. Why would it appeal to EPP readers? What kinds of ideas or products would it feature? What unique expertise or interest or approach can you bring to the topic? What can you add to EPP that I don't already do?

You can email your proposals to me by clicking here, and please include links to past writing (a blog if you've got it) and a brief bio.

:: :: for you :: ::

i felt like making something to share this week. this is for all you twitterers...




one button in four different color options. all on white backgrounds. original julie green illustration. just right click (or whatever you do on a mac) to save the file of your choice to your own computer. then upload to your own blog with a link to your twitter feed.

link back to me if you think of it. if not, no big deal.

:: :: dad's day :: ::

left from top:
1. paper airplane in brown
2. quoted
3. ties

right:
1. headphones

now available in the shop. i think the headphones one is my favorite. i made it with brian in mind. but the paper airplane and the ties were the most fun to make.

you'll have to click on the link for number 2 to read the quote. it's a good one.

:: :: water balloons :: ::

water balloons mosaic, originally uploaded by brianjulieandbaby.

inspired by my previous post. : ) you can find the links to each photo by clicking on the mosaic above.

:: :: divulgence friday :: ::

can i admit some things?

1. i'm not really enjoying writing each penny pretty as much as i hoped i would. i feel very constrained by my own commitment to writing about affordable art and design. i find gorgeous things i'd rather write about but they're too expensive. too out of reach for anyone i know. plus it takes so damned much time to keep up with. i'm not sure my birthday present is the kind that's going to keep on giving. at least not in the way i had hoped.

2. i really really miss my sewing machine. it's still here, don't get me wrong. but it's in the (cold, dark, lonely) basement. and i don't have any house projects to work on because i don't have a house yet. and plus i have my hands full with (a) evan, (b) my growing business, and (c) all the progesterone coursing through my body (my obie-gynie - that's what we call her in my family, who knows why - says progesterone is a sedating hormone and BOY OH BOY is she right). it all adds up to a dusty sewing machine. it's so sad.

3. i've got a new shop in the works. it may be awhile but i'm going to open up my own shop at my own personal URL. i'll keep the etsy shop and they'll have the same things in them more or less, but if i hope to grow the business and get more exposure, it's really important that i have my own shop.

4. i am trying to be all zen about it but i feel like my whole body is swelling right now. the best word to describe my boobs lately is pendulous. it's like i've got two water balloons suspended by just their ties and they're all swingy and heavy. unlike water balloons, though, they hurt, too. and of course every time i see my swingy pendulum-boobs, I go down this whole mental path that includes the complete destruction of my body and its replacement with a whole lot of big marshmallows stuck together in the sort-of shape of a woman. it's not a good path to go down.

okay. enough admitting for now.

feel free (no, actually, i encourage you) to share your own admissions in the comments. you can go anonymous if you really want to. it could be all post secret.

:: :: sit. then throw. :: ::

i love it that we're getting to this stage: the let's spend time sitting and coloring stage. i just wish that it didn't also come along with the let's throw forks and dump fistfulls of dirt on the floor on purpose stage.

:: :: super cute seeking format :: ::

i'd say my biggest debate with most new designs i work on is whether they should be printable or printed items. sometimes the question is "how many times will someone want to print this?" and if the answer is very low, then it seems printed is the way to go. but sometimes i just can't decide.

what do you guys think about this one? it's an art print for framing. i've got a print of it up on our bedroom wall and i must say, it's pretty super-duper cute. i'm sort of thinking it should be printable but i just don't know.

please share your feedback. i'm eager to hear it.

THANKS!

:: :: a curse upon all you cavewomen :: ::

to my evolutionary foremothers:

i really wish that you had found a way to nurture and protect the women who didn't feel crappy during the first trimesters of their pregnancies. it's just not fair that the women who survived and reproduced and thus passed their genes on down the long, long line to me had to be the ones with the nausea and headaches and exhaustion.

damn you, foremothers. my head hurts. i can't eat. or i'm starving. i feel nauseated half the time and sleepy the rest of the time. i pretty much hate you, ladies. sorry, but it's true.

:: :: more on the rally :: ::

wow. i just started reading some of the letters at postpartum progress. you really need to get over there. it'll help you know and understand me better. it will help you know and understand all moms better.

{see post below for details}

:: :: mother's day rally for moms' mental health :: ::

today, instead of writing something here on my blog, i'm writing over at a katherine's blog. please head on over to postpartum progress to read my letter (and 23 other letters) to new moms.

i'm really proud to be participating in this online rally that started at midnight last night and runs until midnight tonight. the rally features open letters to new mothers on the importance of maternal health. one letter will be published each hour on the hour.

i don't know what time mine will be, but just head over and keep checking if you must. (oh, okay, i'll post a link here to my letter when it's published...)

and to all of you, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

:: :: enjoy :: ::

have a wonderful weekend.

:: :: lucky number four :: ::

i ended up having fourteen entries in the giveaway, and now it's time to announce the winner...



linda, you will be hearing from me later today.

:: :: i guess i really am pregnant :: ::

ME: what was the best part of your day?
BRIAN: (after some thought) i think it was the look of satisfaction when you finished your chicken selects.

a moment later.

BRIAN: what was your best part?
ME: i think it was the chicken selects.

true story.

(i was going to add a picture of chicken selects here, but when i went to get one they looked so good i realized i might go buy chicken selects for breakfast if i had to look at that picture much longer.)

:: :: meeting the mood :: ::

the common advice for dealing with anxiety is to relax, take deep breaths, etc. sometimes i find that lying on my back and breathing all the way into my diaphragm helps. but sometimes the thing that helps the most is meeting the mood. taking the anxiety and turning it into excitement or joy.

here's some of my best therapy. come, meet me in that place where you feel so happy you want to scream.

:: :: giveaway time :: ::

so here's the deal with the giveaway. basically, i decided to let you drive. winner gets a $15 gift certificate in my shop at upup.etsy.com to spend as he or she wishes. like on anything in the shop. **

to enter, leave me a comment here on this post by friday, may 8th at 10:00 a.m. EDT (that's my local time here in ny, y'all). your post should include your email address and must answer the following question (which i am totally paraphrasing from a question i saw in a bright side project giveaway recently):

if you could be more something, what would that something be?

the winner will be chosen randomly and announced here on the blog on friday.

to earn an extra entry in this contest, tweet this giveaway (using @upupcreative) or blog about it on your blog (making sure to refer to upup.etsy.com so that i will get a notice in my google alerts that you blogged it).

each person can have up to two entries.

**here's the fine print on the gift certificate:

I will send this gift certificate and a unique redemption code via email to the winner (the certificate itself will arrive as a pdf file -- please be sure you have a pdf reader installed (you can download one for free from adobe.com).

If you want me to email it to a different person, we can iron out those details after you win and are notified.

To redeem this certificate, the certificate holder can simply enter the unique code in the "message to seller" box at checkout.

This gift certificate is only good towards purchases (and shipping for those purchases) made from upup.etsy.com. Any amount remaining after your purchase has been made can be used toward subsequent purchases at upup.etsy.com. If purchase exceeds amount on card, a revised invoice will be sent via Paypal.

This gift certificate is not redeemable for cash because buying yourself beautiful handmade gifts is way more fun than holding a wad of cash.

It really is.

(The gift certificate expires six months from the date of issue.)

:: :: five hundred :: ::

yesterday was the six month anniversary of my shop opening. all day i just kept marveling about how much has changed in those six months: in my life, in the shop, in the world. and even though the flood of pregnancy hormones is torturing me right now, i have to say, things now are so much better than they were six months ago.

coinciding with my six month anniversary -- one day late by just a few hours -- was my 500th sale. that's a big landmark.

to celebrate, i'm reinvesting some of my shop money. to help you celebrate, i'm hosting a giveaway, starting tomorrow. so come on back tomorrow for details.

:: :: ever changing :: ::

and of course right now? just a few hours after the sad post? i'm in a great mood. damn you brain!

p.s. dear brain: stop thinking about cupcakes.



(don't you just love this cupcake topper from goose grease? i kind of sort of need to own one. but not until i learn to frost a cupcake so it's all neat and pretty like that.)

:: :: sad :: ::

i'm so sad to write this, but here it is: i'm not doing so great with the pregnancy so far. emotionally speaking, i mean. i know it's normal to feel all mood swingy but this isn't quite that.

i feel like six weeks of pregnancy has undone six months of feeling good. i'm not where i was last summer when the sky was falling and i was trapped beneath it, but i'm not myself.

i have a dread surge each morning like clockwork between 9:15 and 9:30. each morning the surge seems to be worse than the previous morning, and it makes no difference what i'm doing at the time. this morning i almost burst into tears in the middle of preschool gym play because i was feeling so horrible. all i wanted to do was call brian but i knew that if i did i would have the full-on public crying spree, and i didn't feel like going through that.

i have much more generalized dread throughout the afternoon, then i seem to be okay in the evening until right before bed when around 10:40 i feel like crying. by 11:00 i'm fine again, all peaceful and sleepy.

it's so strange. i feel like it's so beyond my control.

i think one of the hardest things is how physical it all is. pregnancy, depression, anxiety. they all make you feel like crap, which means sometimes you can't tell them apart. and i really don't want to associate pregnancy with anxiety.

i also really don't want this to just be the way i am now. i'm scared that something in my brain chemistry changed last year and that now it won't ever change back. i'm probably overstating the depression here. it's not so bad, but that it's bad at all just sucks so much. i didn't want this to happen. i feel completely out of control of my hormones and my emotions and that just makes me feel worse.

boo, hiss, and a pile of rotten tomatoes. for real.